.
it looks like its possibly time to put up my shielding again. no one sees this blog anyway, but next time i'll be sure to not take things for granted. i was probably overconfident, or even too slow. maybe i was just led on. i read the signs wrong. i don't know. but whatever happens, happens. and i hope its for the best. i'm tired. i'm just too tired of being the nice guy. if only nice girls didn't just go for guys that only had pretty faces and yet have no personality. i know i'm much better than that. blah blah blah. whine whine whine. regardless, i just don't want to ever go back driving back to LA empty and defeated. it sucks. feeling like shit sucks. being alone sucks.
maybe it sucked for you too, but it really hurt to just imagine what might've went down that night.
but you know what? i'm patient. i'll give it another chance. i'm not gonna give up. 2-3 years ago something like this would ruin my life. i'm old(er) and i'm wiser. girls are human beings too, right?
well, in other news (and to even out the mood), i bought a crapload of cds. hooray for amoeba! i got simple citizens, one of the samurai champloo soundtracks, the new clap your hands say yeah, muse's origins of symmetry cd, thievery corporation, silversun pickup's older ep, the good, the bad, and the queen, and the shins. i was also able to get nujabes' metaphorical music and modal soul too. i only had 10 of his songs but now the collection is more complete.
ALSO, going to the chinatown galleries was fun. at night, there's free alcohol/refreshments AND i saw adam savage from mythbusters there! how cool is that?! and i also saw one of my studio art TA's there as well. awkward.
its good to have the whole family back in LA again. without them i wouldn't have looked at the good side of things - i would've been an emotional wreck the whole day.
vin.penny
